Nati Karel, Manager in the Field of Youth Centers, shares:
“Violence against women is violence against the entire home. It doesn’t have to be directed towards children to destroy, hurt and corrupt this safe space. Among the various manifestations of risk behaviors to escape from reality and pain, there is also a quiet, less noisy phenomenon among all the chaos – the parental girl. Looking as an outsider you might think, why is that a risk? We see a responsible girl, quiet, who is doing well in school (so even the school finds it hard to detect). She can be happy, help around the house.
And that’s exactly the point. This girl can’t be a kid. There is no room for her world. She must be in charge because she thinks it will keep the house safe. She must be quiet to not create additional turmoil by mistake. Do well in school because that’s the last thing that her mom needs to worry about. And she mainly needs to hold a role she did not choose, certainly not at this age – being a parent. She will search outside the home for room to create her own space. There won’t always be good people out there.
“55% of the educational staff did not go through training to identify children who have experienced domestic violence.”
In a recent study conducted by WIZO, a quarter of educational staff in Israel admitted that they do not know who to turn to in cases of domestic violence and 55% of the education staff did not go through training to identify children who have experienced domestic violence. And again, I am not accusing. I am just highlighting. This is where real education starts if you ask me. The data shows that 40% of children who detected domestic violence among their friends, did not try to talk to them about it.
One person is enough to help – teacher, counselor, friend, youth coordinator, family. Someone who will see, be interested, ask, hug and sometimes question what you see on the outside. Someone who will look at her with good eyes, who will really see her and even without asking directly, will say warm words and provide her with a kind and caring space. The space that might have been destroyed at home, but it will give her the hope that it can be created elsewhere.”
