Online harm to youth is gaining alarming momentum: sexual extortion, distribution of forged content, ostracism, slander, and threats. Public discourse focuses on the children, but there is almost no attention given to parents as "secondary victims" or to the importance of their initial response. At the Tov Center, the digital response unit of ELEM (in partnership with the National Insurance Institute and Hotline 105), they provide real-time support both to youth who have been harmed online and their parents.

Tohar Horvitz, a social worker, psychodrama therapist, and care coordinator at the Tov Center, says, "Unfortunately, digital harms have become a significant part of the reality for teenagers, and the question is no longer if they will be exposed to it, but how. When the reaction of the adults around them is calm, attentive, and inclusive, it can turn a moment of crisis into a starting point for strengthening and the ability to cope."

She adds, "Online harm is not just something that happens on a screen. For teenagers, this is an experience that returns to real life. It continues in school hallways, social gatherings, and impacts their sense of security."

N., an 11th grade student, was a girl who felt secure in her place in the world, until recently. She was an excellent student, very sociable, and an active counselor in a youth movement with a close and open relationship with her parents.

One day, she received a call from a friend who told her that nude photos and videos of her were circulating in the grade's WhatsApp groups. N. received a screenshot, was terrified, and immediately shared it with her mother. Only later did it become clear that these were fake images created using artificial intelligence.

Her mother immediately contacted the 105 hotline, and the family was referred for support at the Tov Center, a treatment and assistance center for youth harmed online, which operates in partnership with the National Insurance Institute and the 105 hotline.

During the time following the incident, N. experienced intense shame and a sense of loss of control. Even after it became clear that the images were fake, the distribution continued, remarks were made, and she felt the need to arrive at school. Alongside the feeling of exposure, physical reactions appeared, including dizziness and shortness of breath. In the therapeutic process, N. acquired tools to cope and gradually return to routine. The critical part of the therapeutic work was actually with the parents.

"Parents also go through a shock when they discover that their child has been harmed online," says Horvitz. "Many parents feel confusion, guilt, or a sense of failure, even if they were involved and honest parents."

Horvitz emphasizes that even simple solutions, such as blocking access to the network, are not a necessity for the youth. "We encounter teenagers who don't even have a smartphone at all," she says. "When they access the network through a friend's phone or a shared computer, sometimes they don't even have the tools to understand what is happening and how to cope."

The most important protective factor is not the type of device but the presence of an adult willing to listen without judging.

The initial reaction of the parents is meaningful in coping. It is important, first of all, to pause for a moment and listen; to ask the teenager how they feel and what they want to happen now. A sense of control is a critical component in coping with the harm.

Out of worry and the need to protect, many parents react with sentences that might actually push the teenagers away. "We hear many statements like, 'why didn't you tell me?', 'show me all the messages right now,' or 'I told you not to be there.' The parents' intention is to protect and stop the harm, but for the teenagers, this might sound like an accusation or a taking away of their control," says Horvitz.